A True Christmas Story
I must tell you this Christmas story that is true. I should change the names to protect the innocent and not so innocent.
Christmas 1981
Crumps Garden always has a poinsettia show (Chambersville) every year, and this particular year I asked myself, "What the heck is a poinsettia show?" So I took Angie and Hollye with me on a Saturday afternoon. First I stopped by 7-11 (Oh thank Heaven for 7-11) and bought us something cold to drink. It was a nice day, warm, and sunshiney (all was well in our world then). We were in Chick's pick 'em up truck, and I had on my jeans (still small back then) and a sweater. I noticed this man really staring and smiling at me while I was in the store. I thought, "Ummmm, I must look good today".
Well, we go trucking out to Chambersville and find Crumps (my first time to visit them since they moved to the country) so I had to stop at the main office and ask where we were supposed to view the Poinsettias'. The lady directed me to the top of the hill where she said there were greenhouses after greenhouses packed with all sorts of Poinsettias'. The excitement was mounting!
As I walked out of the office I noticed another gentleman was looking at me with this big old wide flirtatious grin on his kisser. I got back in the truck and told the girls, "I must look extra good today, I'm getting lots of attention" (Oh vain lady you must quit thinking)
Wellllllll, we park the truck, and there are a group of high school age boys to take us on the tour. We go to the 1st greenhouse at the top of the hill and in we go, the tour guide, me, Hollye and Angie all in a row because it was too narrow to walk side by side. I hear this hysterical laughter behind me. Poinsettias are just not that darn funny I think to myself. I turn and the girls are doubled over pointing at my backside. I said, "Well, what"? I look down where the girls are pointing, the little guide looks down where the girls are pointing, and there is a long leg with a foot hanging out from under one of my pant legs. Panty hose! I now remember I skinned out of my jeans and panty hose the night before and threw them on the dresser, the next morning I put the jeans back on and apparently the panty hose stayed snug in the jeans, a whole dang leg is following behind me - - for how long! UMMMMMM, now I know why the men were smiling...
I held my cool, and bent over and tugged on the panty hose. They won't budge. They are across the crotch of my tight fitting jeans. I pull again, and nothing. Finally with a mighty yank the panty hose come out springing the other leg straight up in the air like a balloon about to sail into the horizon, but I have the other end held tight. By then the girls are hysterical and the little tour guide has the reddest Christmas face you've ever seen. I roll those hose up into a tight ball (never missed a beat) and proclaimed, "I wondered where those panty hose were?" then I tuck them into my purse and turn around and move forward. We continue on through the tour until about midpoint the little guide leaves us to continue on our own.
As we are coming out of the last greenhouse, I see the tour guide standing on the hill with his little friends pointing our way and all of them doubled over in laughter.
Merry Christmas to all! And by the way, if you've seen one poinsettia you've seen them all!!!!!!!
Sandy and Chick
Christmas 1981
Crumps Garden always has a poinsettia show (Chambersville) every year, and this particular year I asked myself, "What the heck is a poinsettia show?" So I took Angie and Hollye with me on a Saturday afternoon. First I stopped by 7-11 (Oh thank Heaven for 7-11) and bought us something cold to drink. It was a nice day, warm, and sunshiney (all was well in our world then). We were in Chick's pick 'em up truck, and I had on my jeans (still small back then) and a sweater. I noticed this man really staring and smiling at me while I was in the store. I thought, "Ummmm, I must look good today".
Well, we go trucking out to Chambersville and find Crumps (my first time to visit them since they moved to the country) so I had to stop at the main office and ask where we were supposed to view the Poinsettias'. The lady directed me to the top of the hill where she said there were greenhouses after greenhouses packed with all sorts of Poinsettias'. The excitement was mounting!
As I walked out of the office I noticed another gentleman was looking at me with this big old wide flirtatious grin on his kisser. I got back in the truck and told the girls, "I must look extra good today, I'm getting lots of attention" (Oh vain lady you must quit thinking)
Wellllllll, we park the truck, and there are a group of high school age boys to take us on the tour. We go to the 1st greenhouse at the top of the hill and in we go, the tour guide, me, Hollye and Angie all in a row because it was too narrow to walk side by side. I hear this hysterical laughter behind me. Poinsettias are just not that darn funny I think to myself. I turn and the girls are doubled over pointing at my backside. I said, "Well, what"? I look down where the girls are pointing, the little guide looks down where the girls are pointing, and there is a long leg with a foot hanging out from under one of my pant legs. Panty hose! I now remember I skinned out of my jeans and panty hose the night before and threw them on the dresser, the next morning I put the jeans back on and apparently the panty hose stayed snug in the jeans, a whole dang leg is following behind me - - for how long! UMMMMMM, now I know why the men were smiling...
I held my cool, and bent over and tugged on the panty hose. They won't budge. They are across the crotch of my tight fitting jeans. I pull again, and nothing. Finally with a mighty yank the panty hose come out springing the other leg straight up in the air like a balloon about to sail into the horizon, but I have the other end held tight. By then the girls are hysterical and the little tour guide has the reddest Christmas face you've ever seen. I roll those hose up into a tight ball (never missed a beat) and proclaimed, "I wondered where those panty hose were?" then I tuck them into my purse and turn around and move forward. We continue on through the tour until about midpoint the little guide leaves us to continue on our own.
As we are coming out of the last greenhouse, I see the tour guide standing on the hill with his little friends pointing our way and all of them doubled over in laughter.
Merry Christmas to all! And by the way, if you've seen one poinsettia you've seen them all!!!!!!!
Sandy and Chick
posted by Sasebone at
9:10 AM
1 Comments:
I remember that like it was yesterday! Now sitting here reading it, I have tears running down my face and I'm about to roll out of my chair from laughter!
By
Angie, at 12:43 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home