Happy Birthday Holly

Happy Birthday Holly! So now you are 36 years old. I woke up this morning thinking about that day 36 years ago, and how I dreaded going to the hospital to have another baby. I was eager to bring you into the world, but dreaded the pains of childbirth since I hadn't done this in 8 years and I could remember the 3 days of labor when I had Angie. Scary!

Well, I decided not to ever have another child and Angie was going to be our one and only and yes, she was worth it, but I didn't want to have that same experience again. However, as I felt my biological time clock for having another child was running down, I opted to have another child, at the old age of 29. I laugh now when I think of that! Women of today wait until their 40's to start a family, but back then it was a different time. I lay there in pain, waiting, feeling more confident, knowing it would be different this time. I had a new doctor, I was familiar with childbirth, new hospital, all was different. It would be quicker! The routine, and all mothers know it now including you, is to dilate which I couldn't do with Angie. It was a slow drawn out process and all mothers have to feel the pain and push! Eventually I pushed and my tailbone broke as you entered the world eight hours from the first labor pain. Afterwards I had to sit on a cushion for months, but the love I felt for you when you arrived was enough to deal with the pain and another beautiful little baby girl made it worth it all.

In the past 36 years of your life we've experienced, joy, laughter, love and many trials and tribulations together, and it continues. Me at your side always rooting for you. I remember you dancing because of your little crooked legs, and how hard you worked at it. Me, sitting through 2 day recitals and performances watching all the children of every age until it came to your performance and how proud I was of you. Later, you graduating from high school early and going off to college with hopes and dreams of becoming an English teacher - - how you loved to write! Then, you came home and got a job and continued on with your education, then the world turned black for you. You stopped growing, you found a pit and jumped in it with others and somewhere between 19 and 36 you lost your way. I kept the light shining hoping you would find it again, and continue on with your dreams, but the light grows dim and I wonder if you will ever get back on the path of life again.

I hope this coming year you begin to grow again, and the sun finds you and lights up your life so you can move forward in the path you started so long ago.

Love,

MOM